Revelation

It was the feeling of being deeply known that brought me to tears. How a thirty-minute chair massage could do this was a mystery. It wasn't even about the person, skilled though he is, performing the massage: it was something working through his hands. What a comfort and a delight to have the sore spots found, old wounds discovered without me having to point them out. And then to have them honoured, respected for what they are, and soothed. I stood up feeling renewed, once again ready to open myself to the world.

Slow, slow, slow

One of the most interesting books I've read lately is In Praise of Slowness by Carl Honore. It's a look at the many aspects of the Slow movement from Slow food to Slow cities to Slow sex. I particularly loved this book because I cracked the cover at the airport right after I'd tried and failed to get more than five pages into Citizen Girl.

I had thought that CG would be perfect for me--the review from powells.com had been good and made it seem like chick-lit with a brain. This relates to that poem I posted the other day. Though I am surprised that someone with my scholarly training prefers her fiction light, this tends to be the case. Now that I no longer analyse fiction for a profession, I find myself getting bored or annoyed with fiction that makes me work to read it. (One could argue that this fiction to which I'm referring could not be that good if it makes me work, but these are novels of wide repute. I am ready to admit that the fault lies not with the books but with me). Or, and this is the worst confession, perhaps, if the fiction does not make me work, it does make me unbearably sad. There are enough troubles in this world that I try to educate myself about and take action to remedy in the small ways that I can: putting myself through emotional torture for a novel or a movie is just not life-giving to me. (An interesting exception is theatre, where I actually can feel catharsis). I feel that many intellectuals would insist that tragedy is more worthy, but the fact is, I like a happy ending.

Back to Citizen Girl. I had thought that this might be a step up from some of the books I read--better written, more clever, more satisfying somehow. Ha! Even in the few pages I read, I sensed neither a brain nor a soul (or a heart or courage, to put it in Wizard of Oz terms). Oh, it was snide, this book. Now, I've been told that I have a Dorothy Parker-esque quality from time to time, but I hope I am not snide like this. Admittedly, my distaste may have been first inspired by the photo of the authors on the back inside jacket. It may be frightfully bourgeois of me to believe that photos should be flattering, but believe it I do. I suppose what is more alarming is that these women felt that this photo did, indeed, flatter them. What vacant, superior faces!

After the aforementioned five pages, I shoved the book deep into my carry-on, never to be opened again. So much for light fiction setting a nice, relaxed tone for the flight; I was thankful I hadn't actually bought it--the library was welcome to it. I turned to my potentially more-weighty non-fiction choice, In Praise of Slowness and felt cleansed by its preface alone. I had heard of Slow food, of course, but I hadn't known of all of the other ways that people were seeking slowness. I loved the honesty of Honore's tone throughout the book. He clearly had a sense of irony and approached situations with a similar skepticism that I might feel (his description of the Tantra workshop was a particular gem). This made it all the more delightful to read about how these experiences mostly did not conform to his expectations and were, in fact, meaningful and profound. It was also thrilling to read about yet more groups of people that seemed to feel about the world the way I do and who had the courage to pursue those ideals. And, much as what I have discovered about the simple living movement, slow livers do not propose that we all live in huts in the wilderness; they embrace technology for its benefits, but explore ways to say no to the demand to be always in reach. What a concept, the idea of slowness as a political act! It reminds me of my friend who suggested that I and my fiance are engaging in a political act (as it were) by creating a wedding that is a true expression of the two of us rather than some wedding industry bullshit designed to make us feel like failures if the day isn't perfect, perfection being defined by the massive amount of money we've spent on everything.

In Praise of Slowness is going on my list of books that I'd like to have in my own library, a reference I will turn to many times, and something to share with interested friends. Another great thing about this book was its extensive bibliography. As a result of reading it, I've ordered at least three other books from the library and there may be more to come. I'll be talking about those books in future posts.

Truth be told

Memoirs and Confessions of an Unrepentant PhD Student

I have been leading a double life

Evidenced in my two library affiliations.

The respectable university card grants me access to the tomes of my trade or morally uplifting prose,

Whilst the quaint paper town tickets feed my childhood habit, my taste for (a hush befalls the room)

popular fiction.

Until today no humiliation worse than being caught in the town library and asked,

'So, what are you reading?'

Frantically obscuring the glossy paperbacks in my grasp,

I shift my weight from side to side and hedge,

unwilling to confess my crimes against the Canon,

dreading the quirked brow of surprise and dismay from my

inquisitive interlocutor.

But now my shuttered bookcases are thrown wide,

My once-hidden world exposed.

Poetic rehabilitation for the incorrigible:

'Hi, my name is _______, and I've read Bridget Jones' Diary'

August 2000, revised June 2005

For the Record

Just in case you're curious, I will not be including Real Simple in my survey of literature about simple living. Every time I think about this magazine (not often, I am happy to say), I feel a jolt of fury. How dare they try to make a bunch of money on the concept of simple living by peddling super-expensive ways to 'simplify' our lives by buying more crap?

Here's another disgust-inducing example. I have to replace the 'closet system' where I keep my clothes because the one that's already there is falling apart dangerously. Ironically, my closet is too small to fit any of the ready-made closet organisers (and trust me, I do likes me some organising). So while we were at Costco I picked up the California Closets brochure, thinking that though it would still be too expensive, it might be within my price range, if they even bother making closet systems for tiny closets like mine. Anyway, California Closets tells me, 'We believe that when you organize your home, you Simplify Your Life (R).' A registered fucking trademark on the phrase 'Simplify Your Life' in relation to closets?! I just don't know if I can call them now, despite the fact that my closet is in a truly perilous state. Assholes.

The idea of simple living becoming a status symbol, well, it's absurd. It's also not worth my rage, of course, because people who are in touch with their values and who are truly trying to simplify will see through the garbage that is Real Simple and Simplify Your Life TM. But it's gross to think of simple living being 'trendy' and people looking at these things and thinking that more consumption of overpriced goods by the elite and those who want to be elite is what the movement is all about.

Well, just shows it's a good thing I'm keeping this blog now; I really told them!

Your voice of reason on the simple living frontlines--

When the Student is Ready...

I thought I'd give a bit of background about how I came to learn about simple living and began this journey of reading, thinking and acting.

It's funny how ideas come along at just the right time, or how we miss them if the time isn't right. For example, one of the books I chose for my thesis was Ben Okri's The Famished Road (this is a gorgeous book, by the way, as long as you like getting lost in endless sentences and paragraphs of beautiful prose). I thought that I discovered it in the summer of 1996 when a lecturer at St Andrews mentioned it to me. However, a year or two later, I was looking through my notes from my 1994 comparative lit class in college. We had a presentation on postcolonial literature and I had written in the margin 'Ben Okri, The Famished Road'. It gave me such a tingle to see those words written there. At the time they meant little, but reading them later made it feel like it had been foretold that I would study this novel. Really, though, I think it demonstrates the adage alluded to in this post's title 'when the student is ready the teacher appears'. The teacher drifted by in 1994, but it wasn't until 1996 that I was ready to bring the message to life. Then later I was given the exciting moment of recognition when reading my old notes.

Back to simple living. A couple of years ago a friend of mine (who has been the catalyst for all sorts of important discoveries, though we're not particularly close) mentioned the phrase 'simple living' to me and sent me to http://www.simpleliving.net/. For some reason, the idea spoke to me and I started checking books out of the library. I believe I started with Choosing simplicity : real people finding peace and fulfillment in a complex world by Linda Breen Pierce. I was struck by how diverse the stories were; it was a comfort to learn that I wouldn't need to grow my own food and live out in the country in order to practice simple living.

Certainly, the experience of getting to the end of my thesis and realising that what I thought I'd wanted wasn't at all what I wanted anymore gave me the freedom to look at the structure of my life in a new way. When I started reading about simple living I thought, 'There are other people who approach the world this way!' It's so important to me to live authentically, by that I mean living according to my values.

I moved on from Choosing Simplicity to that simple living classic Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin. What an eye opener! I'd never specifically looked at my spending as a way to reflect my values. Though there are some parts of the book that don't resonate with me, I grabbed onto the idea that if an expense is very aligned with our values and makes us feel wonderful about it, we should consider spending MORE on it. Such a different message from one that says all spending is evil or money itself is evil. I loved the idea of 'enoughness' and that every individual and family must decide what that means for him/her/them. I had also never thought of the idea of a 'real hourly wage', including travel, decompression time, meals out when it's only because we're too tired to cook, etc.

I have used many of these principles to guide my own finances and decisions. It was validating to learn that I had already instinctively made some good choices about my work and home life based on my values, but also rewarding to have new tools to make these decisions conscious.

As for my friend who pointed me in the direction of simple living? She hasn't pursued it to nearly the degree I have. Perhaps she was led to it so she could guide me as well as explore it herself later...

Introduction

Whew, that description on the left is rather dry and stilted! I think I went into abstract-writing mode (and not an especially lyrical abstract at that). I don't expect the rest of this blog to have quite that tone, but you never know.

At any rate, my intention right now is to use this forum to pull together ideas that have been simmering in the back of my mind and to share my reading list with others. We'll see if I stay true to that original vision or not. I would like to let the blog evolve naturally and tell me what it wants to be. (First she's pompous, then she's airy-fairy--it's an exciting ride here at Teatime reader's journal. Wait until my opinionated side comes out.)

If anyone is interested in reading the books I discuss here, I highly recommend checking them out from your local public library. Though I am a bibliophile by nature, I have learned over time that I feel liberated by NOT owning every book I read. Instead, I get likely prospects from the library first and only buy a book if I love it or think it's an important addition to my household. I suppose it's kind of like dating. The 'personals' of these books are the review I get from Powells.com (my largest source for new reading material besides the bibliographies of the books I read). If the ad reads well, I set up that initial first meeting by putting the book on hold at the library. Having the book waiting for me at my library branch saves that awkward first meeting when you're not sure you'll be able to recognise one another from the photos you exchanged. Then I take it home and see if we're compatible. Hmm. I think this metaphor has gone far enough--you get the idea.

I know that I'm fortunate to have an excellent public library system in my city and I couldn't resist the chance to plug libraries in general. If readers aren't so lucky, another idea I've considered is getting together with friends of like interests and creating our own simple living/social justice/consumer culture library. This would create a community of readers who are reading and thinking about the same concepts without each of us having to buy every book individually.

Happy reading!